M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E

One set of freshly laundered scrubs: $40

One Diet Mountain Dew for the ride home: $1.25

Watching a wilted old man shuffle across the six lanes of Hwy 89 with his walker and oxygen to Southern Xposure (Utah's only full nudity club! Boo-yah!) from the bus stop : priceless. Literally made my weekend.

This was an awesome week. Flew to Anaheim with LeeAnn so we could spend her 35th birthday at the happiest place on earth. I hadn't been to Disneyland since . . . I don't know . . . 1997 maybe? Had no idea about California Adventure or any of that. And going with LeeAnn was fabulous because she knows all the Disneyland trivia so I had my own personal tour guide! It was a great day and a fabulous way to celebrate her birthday. She got to wear a birthday button and all the workers wished her a happy birthday everywhere we went! And I told everyone else (on the plane, at the hotel, at 7-11 . . .) that we were there to celebrate her day. I'm sure she wanted to kill me by the end but couldn't because murders aren't allowed at Disneyland!

LeeAnn holding her "golden ticket" allowing free admission on her birthday

LeeAnn looking cute and some lunatic with crazy hair and 50 chins on the airplane

No, thank YOU for celebrating with US, Mickey!!

This was the best tasting Diet Coke I've ever had. Which is why I'm making out with it. Best action I've gotten in ages.

Sassy!

We spent the next day lounging around Newport Beach and it was awesome! Super hot though. Felt like we were home lounging at the Great Salt Lake. Ha! Or not.

In tribute to the Bluth family and Arrested Development we stopped and got a frozen banana from a banana stand. "There's always money in the banana stand. . ."

Pretty much a fabulous two day vacation!

Hi ho, hi ho, . . .

Curses!! I was tricked into renewing my membership in eharmony. I know, I know. HOW do you get tricked into something like that? It's not like they have an army of match making thugs who come to your house and threaten you until you agree to renew. But their REAL tactics are trickier and more difficult to avoid. Even though I cancelled my subscription in June (after the whole auto-renewing debacle when I vowed I'd never have dealings with them again) they really upped the number of "highly compatible matches" they were sending me. And it has never stopped! Even though I didn't think my account was active, people can see ME. And try to communicate. But I can't see them and communicate back unless I renew — which they will let me do for the ridiculously low price of $19.95 a month for 3 months! So I had this guy who really wanted to get in touch with me and the little voice in my head which gives me relationship advice starts telling me MAYBE this time it will work! Even though my logical voice was reminding me that I was matched (the whole "matched" business could lead to another rant session. Lies! Ridiculous freaking lies! Matched?! "Highly Compatible" based on our "27 dimensions of compatibility?!" Lies!!) with almost 200 guys during my first go-round and only went on a date with 1. And that guy was not all that intriguing. The discounted price was giving relationship voice more sway over logic than normal. I mean, what if this guy is "the one?" And is $20 really that much to pay for true love? Of course not! (you all answer in unison) So I renewed. And then I checked out persistent guy and he's not my type. Not at all. And none of the other 20 guys they matched me with were remotely intriguing. But now I'm locked in to this contract! Curses!! Logical voice has told me repeatedly that she told me this would happen. And she did. But I remain optimistic. Remember, I have statistics on my side!

Well, I returned to work this past week and it was rough. I really enjoyed my time off and went biking nearly every day. With my Gregg Bromka "Park City and Beyond" guide book in my bag, I set off exploring new trails. And I got lost on nearly every ride. Obviously Gregg and I have a dysfunctional relationship. He showed me new trails, but then promptly confused me mid-ride and led me into unchartered territory. The worst was my ride in The Canyons when I missed a turn off and ended up literally throwing my bike up a downhill only trail. Fortunately no one came barreling down as I was coming up . . . But each ride was punctuated with truly AWESOME stretches of trail that kept me coming back to him for tips on where to ride.

Looking toward The Canyons resort on Lower Holly's Trail

The trail in the distance is my way home: Ambush Trail

Me trying to throw my bike uphill. Had to stop and take a picture because it was so ridiculous! Doesn't quite capture how steep it actually was but it was nearly vertical

That's the sign I looked BACK to when I was finally on level ground

One of the fabulous sections of trail that kept me coming back to Gregg

Amazing view overlooking The Canyons

I love this picture! It illustrates why I love mountain biking: gorgeous ribbon of smooth packed dirt winding through meadows and trees...

This is my favorite picture from the week! I took this while riding John's in Park City. Awesome ride! Until I got lost and was seriously in need of food...

Well, I better go prepare for the reality of work tomorrow. I've been in serious need of an attitude adjustment as far as work is concerned, and I think this weekend gave it to me. I was put on call Friday and then had Saturday and today off and it's been heaven. Work life has been stressful for the past four months or so (much more so for Meredith and I don't know how she's survived it all) and it's definitely taken more of a toll than I'd realized. But this weekend I really feel renewed. I have a great job and get to do amazing things and I haven't been focusing on that. So starting this week I'm going to think of one thing, person, event each day that I'm grateful for so I can turn work back into something that I enjoy doing. I'll let you know how it goes...

Cautiously optimistic . . .

Hmmm. My mood has changed since I logged on to make this post. I follow the blog of a patient I took care of quite a bit in the PICU and I was stunned to see on the headlines of the blogs I follow that he had passed away unexpectedly today. Granted, he had a life threatening diagnosis and was being evaluated for transplant in a different hospital to see if that could extend his life — so death wasn't necessarily a surprise. However, he had been doing well the day before! His mom was cautiously optimistic and they had been transferred out of the ICU. It just made my heart drop and made me realize how different my life could be. The things I face that seem so challenging are nothing . . . NOTHING compared to what this family has gone through over the past year. And now they're grieving for their little boy. I need to be better at cherishing each day for the gift it is and letting those I love in my life know how important they are to me because you never know what life will bring.

Moving on to less somber topics, I may as well give the updates on my dating life. And I must say I'm optimistic that I'm going to meet someone fabulous soon. Just based on the laws of probability I'm due for one! I've gone out on so many blah (and let's be honest, a little crazy) dates lately that statistically speaking the odds of me finding a gem are getting better and better! I went out with the guy that my friend Chatti set me up with this past Wednesday night. And as I predicted, he was not quite 5'6". Unless I have suddenly sprouted to 5'8" without realizing it. I mean, it IS possible since I've been wearing shorts so I wouldn't know that my pants were suddenly too short. Anyway, it was a fine date, but he was definitely NOT interested. I could tell he had been pressured into doing this by his mom. The guy lives in Cali and is heading back there this weekend so angels would have had to appear for anything lasting to come of it. He checked his watch a couple times and after an hour on the nose, the date was done and I was home.

And then there's persistent Spencer. AKA cirque du soleil boy. I've got to hand it to him because he keeps calling even though I have yet to respond. THAT is dedication! Too bad I'm just not interested because he is ready for a relationship.

This week I'm supposed to meet up with Kevin, a guy I met months ago through LDS linkup. Yes, I've done online dating. So if you're reading all this dating craziness and thinking "maybe she should look online." Been there, done that. Even signed up for eharmony late one night in January when I was feeling particularly unloved and dateless and contemplating reconciling with Bret to have someone back in my life. Linkup has been more fruitful than eharmony was though. Went out with 1 guy from eharmony and got matched with a 150. Not the best odds. AND they automatically renewed my subscription the DAY BEFORE it was going to expire and to get my money refunded I'd have had to fill out some ridiculous form and mail it in with my left kidney to a PO box in Kentucky — so I took the lazy way out and suffered through another 3 months.

Anywho, I'm supposed to meet up with Kevin sometime this week along with my friend Jackie's brother Jeff. We'll see if something pans out. But like I said, something good is coming soon. I can feel it! AND I'm statistically due so not only do I have a good vibe, I've got math on my side. What more does a girl need?

I need to catch up on some events of the past couple weeks. Firstly, the birth of Samson Dewey Richards on July 23rd! Mere's second adorable little babe. He's just a cute little squishy ball of peach fuzz. It's great to see Mere and Dave so happy. I really don't know what they're going to do with a boy, though!

Second, Katie and I climbed Mt Olympus together on July 25th in preparation to climb the Middle Teton. We went all the way up to the summit which I'd never done before. Kate did great but decided that the middle Teton might be more than she was up for so we ended up not climbing that, but our hike made for a fun day.

That's it for now. I'm currently enjoying my staycation from work and don't have to go back to PCMC until August 18th!! Yesssss!!! Tell those around you that you love them, hold your kids, kiss your significant other, call your parents, whatever. Thanks for reading and God bless.

Never never never again

Holy crap it's hot today! I went for a road bike ride this morning but dilly dallied and ended up leaving at 9:30 instead of 8. Which meant I returned at 1230 instead of 11. And that hour and a half is when the earth decided to heat up like my ceramic stovetop. By the time I got home I was seeing stars since I hadn't TOTALLY planned to ride in that much heat. I brought water and gatorade but only 1 gel — and that packet of 100 calories definitely wasn't enough to get me through.

Although if I had left when I intended I wouldn't have talked to Chatti who had left a message for me to call her. It sounded fairly urgent so I was surprised when I got the question: "a lady in my ward wants to know if you are interested in going out with her son." Wow. Not what I was expecting. I told Chatti my only requirements for being set up on a date were that he have a job and not be a serial killer. She then told me that she didn't think he was a serial killer but he was between jobs, although he has several commercial properties and therefore has a steady source of income. Then she asked the question: "how tall are you?" Bummer. You know that means he's a shorty. And sure enough he's 5'6" — which really means he's 5'5". I've gone out on enough dates by now to know the code. Josh (an ex-BF who was not the best relationship choice, btw. I still wonder how that all happened...) always said he was 5'5" and he was maybe 5'4". When he was wearing tall shoes.

Anyway, Chatti then mentioned he is only here for a month. This seems to be happening a lot lately. Me getting set up with people who don't live in Utah or are in the process of moving someplace else, I mean. Last weekend I went camping with my family and my brother Jim came to me as soon as I arrived at the campsite and said, "I don't know if you feel comfortable talking about this in front of the entire family," which naturally made everyone stop what they were doing and turn to listen to this conversation, "but how do you feel about younger men?" My sister was closest and she said "Jill doesn't mind talking about THAT! Sheesh" Which is true. And then all my siblings started discussing Spencer (aka the VNB) and how incredible it was that I actually went out with someone who wants to train for the circus. My mother had kindly shared all the date details with my nearest and dearest. (As a side note, when I called to tell my mom about my date with Spencer she literally laughed uncontrollably for 5 minutes after I told her about his circus aspirations and then asked if I was thinking of getting back together with Bret who was now looking like a serious prize. >sigh<>

Wow, I'm digressing. AND wordy! Sheesh! I'm blaming the heat... Anywho, Jim then told me he wanted to set me up with his wife's nephew who was somewhere around 25 years old. After I made a face about his age the count went up ("no wait I think he might be 28. . ."). And he lives in Orem and is moving in a couple months. But I'm not complaining. People are very nice to think of me and you never know what will happen.

Speaking of Spencer the VNB, he's called a few times and I've stopped answering his calls. Judge me if you like, I'm judging myself a bit. It feels slightly immature but I don't think he'd be happy to hear the truth: "um, Spencer? Talking to you is entirely exhausting and I have to pump myself up to answer the phone." No one wants to hear that! So I'm saving us both some heart ache and pain.

Anyway, blah blah blah. On to the title of this post: I finished my deck! And it was a horribly awful and torturous process. The stain I chose says it's guaranteed for 5 years. Let me just tell you, in 5 years when it needs to be redone I will either be moving or hiring someone to do it for me. Blech!!! I'd rather repaint my entire house again! >shudder<>

My mostly sanded deck ready to be stained

And the end result!

Bea approved my choice of color

Now I'm off to get ready for my first BBQ! Little Bea and her sisters (and Meredith and Dave) are coming for dinner and I've got some errands to run beforehand so I'd better get going . . .

Rainy days and Mondays . . .

Last week's DIY project was to stain my badly cracked cement patio. And while the weather forecast last Sunday looked like my 4 days off in a row last week (a little slice of heaven, FYI) would be ideal weather to get this done, by Tuesday rain clouds were appearing on the forecast for Thursday and Friday. And although Wednesday night was supposed to be rain free, big rain drops started falling as I was trying to sweep and vacuum off the cement in preparation.

Thought I'd share a few of the things I learned thoughout this process:

• 1) If you are using a product with acid in the title (like my cement acid stain) do yourself a favor and cover up ALL exposed skin. Who cares if the sun is shining and you'd like to improve your tan while improving your yard?! Wear long pants and closed toed shoes. Acid+skin=burning pain
• 2) Don't forget to actually use the protective paper and painter's tape you bought to cover up your white vinyl fence. Acid will not only eat away your skin but it will eat away your pristinely white fence. Your fence will forever and always look very very dirty along the bottom edge where you inadvertently sprayed your fabulous caramel and walnut stains. Acid+ANYTHING=burning pain — although in this case the pain is just the emotional turmoil you experience each and every time you stare at the evidence of your poor planning.
• 3) Don't let your ex-boyfriend come over. Even though he seems to think you're now "friends" and ya'll can hang out without emotions coming into play, you know better. So listen to yourself and save your friends the pain of listening to you and your crazy thoughts of "did I make the right decision to end things?" and "maybe I should have pushed therapy more than I did. Maybe all our relationship needed was a really talented therapist." Don't play that game. Follow Nancy Reagan's advice and Just Say No. Acid+Bret+ReallyCrazyBlindDate=burning pain

You may now be curious about my Really Crazy Blind Date and what that means, exactly. Most of you know I've had a few of these RCBD's in my dating time so I'll give a brief rundown of this RCBD's stats — although keep in mind this guy is a VNB (very nice boy):

• He is training to be in the circus. Not kidding. He wants to breathe fire and stuff. And he has a performance this Saturday where he will be dressed in a fat lady's outfit and be set on fire and cut in half or something.
• He folds his dollar bills into origami snails and even pays for things with his "snails." I included a picture of the example he left with me. Can't make this crap up.
• He goes blues and swing dancing every week and during our post dinner walk to blockbuster he spun me out and twirled me around in random spontaneous dance sequences. Even and including picking me up off the ground (he gets props for not herniating a disc or grunting with the effort), spinning around, and dipping me for added drama.
• He was married before and blames his divorce on the issues he had (and still has) from his parents' divorce, his lack of effective communication with his wife, his anger issues, and his lack of a motivating force pushing him to be his best. That little conversation was the appetizer to dinner.
• He's 32 and working in a job without benefits.

>sigh<

After hearing that description of my latest prospect is it any wonder I was debating giving my relationship with Bret another try? Both my parents commented on how changed Bret seemed to be on Friday when the met him again. Oh yes, Bret came over while my parents and LeeAnn were helping me seal my concrete and all were amazed that he talked and was charming (my dad had previously compared his personality to a dead tree stump in my yard). And LeeAnn got to listen to him describe how overwhelmed he was feeling lately and how he might lose his job again.

Anyway . . .

Will I go out with VNB again? Of course! I've got nothing else to do and he wasn't hideous. Just a bit crazy. And I can't afford to be too picky since my biological clock is ticking away. This interesting detail was pointed out to me yesterday by the 23 year old nursing student I worked with. Although he did save himself when he told me I did NOT look 32. Maybe 28 . . . And with my increasing age my standards for dating are getting lower.

Look forward to next week's posting about my DIY project for this week: stripping and restaining my wood deck! And hopefully planting a lilac bush. I know, truly THRILLING!

What . . . a whirlwind

Getting a bit behind so I figured I'd better post something today before I rationalize my way out of it again. So first things first

My birthday! Katie, Jon, Staci, and LeeAnn came over that night and we had dinner and cake! Staci made the cake (spice cake with toasted coconut frosting. YUM!) of course and it was fabulous as usual. My p's were on their way out of town with my brother Ken and his kids. Ken's mother-in-law passed away unexpectedly and they were all heading up for the funeral in Twin Falls. But they stopped by on their way and dropped off an enormous Costco sheet cake (carrot cake with apricot cream frosting in the middle. YUM again!) to make up for their absence. And my sister also stopped by with her kids and THEY brought ice cream cake (chocolatey caramel goodness. YUM cubed!). Lots of cake that day! No wonder I've gained 5 pounds!

BAM! Short for the Battle At Midway triathlon. My first race of the season and I was underprepared and unfocused! Awesome! But luckily I'd paid in advance and was committed to doing it. And I'm so glad I did because it was awesome! I freaking loved it! Even the swim portion which is normally my most hated event. Although my swim time was slower than last year— amazing since last year I treaded water for several minutes at the start trying to decide if I REALLY wanted to swim in 52 degree water in 42 degree weather—I managed to knock off 3 minutes from time. Made me really wish I'd trained harder for this since I missed my time goal by 31 seconds. Ouch. But the experience was awesome and made me excited to do some more. It was fun to have Dave there and doing it with me.

West Yellowstone! This past weekend Staci and I headed up to West Yellowstone for a much needed mini-vacation. We were lucky that the weather stayed pretty decent for our trip. It was very pleasant on Saturday and when it rained it didn't rain long. Until night time when it got cold and rainy and stayed that way into Sunday. Naturally the weather cleared up behind us as we drove home.

Our hotel room was sketchy at best. Had obvious structural problems and the pool and hot tub were less than inviting. "Closed for the season" we were told. Would that season be summer? Hmmm. Found out it was rated as the next to worst hotel in West Yellowstone. We switched rooms since our first room hadn't been cleaned since it was built in the 1980's and the second one wasn't nearly as bad. A pack of clorox wipes later and we felt right at home. With our shoes on at all times of course.

Staci giving one of her new friends a kiss

Taking pictures of poop for later identification. Stace was convinced we were going to be attacked by a bear, bison, or other large animal while we hiked and wanted to find out which animals were sharing our trail.

That brown smudge is actually a bear! Not sure which kind but it was really close to the road and created a VERY long traffic jam while everyone stopped to get pictures

We passed right by this massive elk on our first hike. It was laying down in the brush 15 yards from the trail!

We were very curious how hot the water was coming from the different hot springs so we took turns seeing how hot everything was. I know. We were so very daring! We even left the path in a couple sections even though signs warned us not to do it. Ha!!

Pierced

It’s official. I now have pierced ears. I know, I know. You just felt the earth move beneath your feet. Or maybe you saw chunks of sky fall and land dangerously close to your newly painted toenails. Or whatever. To answer the question I can sense on the tips of your respective tongues: no, I have never pierced them before. My ears, that is — in case you were unsure to which body parts I was referring. And neither had my 67 year old mother, whose idea it was to get her own ears pierced and drag me along for the fun. Her birthday was last Saturday and mine is today so she thought it would be a fabulous birthday bonding moment if we both ventured to Claire’s and did the deed together. It has been a lot of fun, actually. Unless I accidentally bump the studs and have sharp stabbing pains coursing through my body. It is freakish how tender your  ears can be. And although I never thought I would enjoy earrings, I really like my new accessories. And so does my mom. Just shows it’s never too late to try new things. 

But that was just the beginning of my week! It’s been interesting. Let me give some background: before last Sunday I was having a serious case of The Sads and really wondering if I’d made the right decision to end my relationship with Bret. Even though I broke up with him 6 months ago, he has continued to text me and our text conversations generally end with him telling me how much he misses me — which never allowis total closure to our relationship. He had started texting me regularly again at the beginning of May and like I said, I was starting to really miss having someone in my life. I’d been on some really bad dates which made me remember more of the good things about my relationship with Bret and allowed me to minimize the things that convinced me we weren’t right for each other. I hit a low point last week and ended up laying in my hallway having a big ugly sob fest for no apparent reason (I’m blaming it on hormones). 

My mood stayed low and I was struggling to get myself back together emotionally. I think I finally figured out why it was so difficult! So after my emotional break, I wanted to talk it out and try to regain control of my situation. So I called up my peeps to chat it out and told them all about my sob fest and how unstable I’d been feeling BUT I didn’t mention what happened AFTERWARDS! While on the floor as Sasha sniffed worriedly at my head, I started praying. And praying and praying. For peace, for understanding, for reassurance that I wasn’t a crazy person. And it came! The peace came and the suffocating fear left. I knew everything would be okay and that although I had no idea what the crap was happening in my life, the Lord did and it was under control. Why I didn’t share this crucial bit of information with my friends . . .  I don’t know. All I dwelt on was the negative feelings to led to me losing hope and that left the window open for those feelings to linger. 

So this past Sunday during church is when I had this epiphany and the peace and clarity returned. Not a moment too soon since Bret texted me that night wanting to go biking Saturday (yesterday). I was apprehensive about the whole thing and really didn’t want to see him. With my renewed perspective came a reminder of all the reasons why we weren’t a good

 match and I had no desire to see him. But then I became curious to see what it would be like. So I went and we biked up Mueller Canyon (seriously LAME ride! That trail is so freaking crowded on the weekends that it wasn’t much fun. I almost hit 3 people coming down the trail...) It ended up being a good thing for me, I think. Being 

with him reminded me of some things that really 

REALLY bugged when we were together. And I didn’t have to care! I could tease him mercilessly and not be worried about hurting his feelings. But we can never truly be friends! He thinks we can be but I’d never feel comfortable talking about truly personal things with him. And even though I don’t want to be with him I don’t want to hear about who he’s dating! But I survived it all! And I’m still a faster biker than he is which makes me happy.

All in all a great week. I managed to pass my advanced CV presentation — which I had to whip out in less than 12 hours since I’d written the date down wrong and had to give it a day earlier than I had planned. And I got in some really good mountain bike rides, hung with my girl Bea, and my other girls Meredith and Dave. (Just kidding Davey!) 

Life is good!